Several people have remarked on how "Duo's Christmas Wish" is very deep and well, unexpected. What can I say? Oops? See, I finally had the chance to reread every single of my chapter one after the other continuously and suddenly realized that the Duo I've put on paper seemed too much like a hormonal driven obsessive.. well, you get the point. So, during a momentary lapse, I decided to put in this little passage to one: give him more depth and to prove that he was capable of doing other things than cooking and drooling. Two: It was to prove how much he loves...big capitalize LOVES to cook. I mean, I can't cook for the life of me, but I can make him sound like he knows what he's doing, can't I?

For those who are slightly put off by the deepness and pensiveness of that whole thing, I promise that the humor in what's to come will definitely make up for it or more. Of course, when we really get to know Heero other than the person who might, or might not be interested at Duo, there might be something that I'll do to define his character too. I'm sorry! I just can't have like, underdeveloped main characters! Seriously, if you're interested, look at my other story and see what I mean. So much angst and mood swings that I don't know what I was on. But hey, I liked how I portrayed Heero in that.

OH YES! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! You like my story! I don't have much time to look at the reviews or go on ff.net now but the last time I checked, I was over 100 reviews! More than I expected ^___^ thank you to all the reviewers and rest assured, I will get the time to reply to you people in an upcoming chapter.

Warning: Bashing of popular culture...again. No one should really be surprised. Also, the fact that you're reading a Christmas story in February is some indication of my lack of time. So sorry!

Chocolate Covered Autumns

Chapter 9 A Very Duo Christmas Part 2

"You ok buddy?" Looking forward from my current station from behind the trunk of the heavy tree, I watched as a way too quiet Heero struggled with a patch of green needles and seemingly losing the battle. The forces of nature against Heero, I really don't think we need to go there.

"...." No sounds, not even a peep was heard from the figure in front of me, dragging the tip of the tree as we toiled to get it into the truck I've borrowed for just an occasion. Is he mad that he's forced to do this after the cotton ball man declared us the complete manifestation of all that is tasteless? I am seriously starting to wonder about that guy and his concept of beauty and such. When we were leaving, and without an offer to help from the bastard might I add, he was gently caressing the rejected tree's naked branches, whispering words of endearment and comfort. I heard something about "big ignorant tasteless men hurting feelings" before I literally dragged Heero out of there with me.

"Heero? Why are you so quiet?" To tell the truth, it's a bit unnerving to see such a pensive and quiet Heero, even worse than the usual pensive and anti-social Heero who chirps in once and awhile to insult my intelligence or cooking.

"I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures if you don't open that mouth of yours soon!" My eyes were twitching at the absolute silence that surrounded us. I hate the dark and I hate silence when I'm in the darkness because that just makes it the second most terrible combination after being hungry in the silence of the darkness. Trying desperately to fill the emptiness with my own loud and aggravating voice, I ignored the franticly shaking head of Heero. If he wants me to stop, he can use something normal people call speaking up..

"JINGLE BELLS! JINGLE BELLS! JINGLE ALL THE WAY! OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO DASH..." I can tell you right now, my singing can wake the dead if I really tried. This apparently isn't one of those times because from what I can tell, Heero merely tensed and quickened his steps. Well, if that didn't work...

"Heero, have I ever told you what wonderful eyes you have, and how pretty it would look.. I don't know...accompanied by nothing but a pair of boxers? Even more so after I rip them off with my teeth slowly...and gently..."

Mentally inserting welcoming images and evil giggles here.

"I mean it's so cold and lonely in the dark right now and I'm sure that I can find several ways to warm you up quite nicely if you'd only ask."

Still no coherent sound besides for the slight protests of a man in pain.

"Chocolate syrup, handcuffs and maybe a blindfold?! Brilliant! Wow Heero, I never thought you had it in you..." I was enjoying this slight advantage I have with Mr. Mysterious and by using the sultriest voice I can muster up with laughter just threatening to overspill in my throat, I felt so deviously wanton. Of course, this spontaneous plan also has its disadvantages, and one of them is currently making a tent in my jeans from the disguised truth in my joking exterior. Here goes one for the mother load, whatever that means.

"Never knew you were so adventurous... mmmm, I like this new side of you. I am Heero, all man and sex walking on two feet, do hear me roar!" Barely able to squeeze the last sentence out with the same heated tone, I would have collapsed in laughter if not for the tree on my shaking shoulders.

"Dammit Baka! I can't talk becau.mmm the needles get in my mou...mmm." Oops, I should have noticed that he was hidden in the branches. Oy.. at least his current preoccupied state will grantee that he wouldn't be able to come and choke me right now. Wait..Instant light bulb!

"Hey, Heero, are you doing anything this Christmas Eve?" I purposely did not look towards him, or make it known that I heard him the first time about the branches getting in the way of his speech.

More sounds of a man struggling with his doomed fate despite the hands of destiny, or in this case, branches deterring his determination.

"By your silence, I will assume that you're not doing anything. That does it then! No one should spend Christmas Eve with no plans. You're coming to my party!"

Once again, I was met with silence other than a few muffled sounds that I couldn't make out, or tried not to.

"It's settled then!" I said in a mischievous tone and turned around to bask in the calming stillness that engulfed us. It was such a lovely night...

"muuuuuuuufffffmmmmm!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dammit! This chef insisted on taking me on a tour of his entire kitchen!" A subtly apologetic Heero said as he stepped into the doorway of A Little Piece of Heaven, cheeks flushed from the attacks of the chilling air outside in the streets. It was around 9 at night and we looked up from our stations on the couch or in the kitchen drinking spiked eggnog, just in time to see his obvious annoyance. As usual, a bad day turned good as soon as I saw him, and yes, I was having a very bad day..

"Not to mention the 20 chefs that happened to be in the kitchen."

"No problem, we don't mind." I said calmly with a cheeky wave towards his direction while mentally damning Hilde's ancestors to hell for her sniggers at my statement. Ok, fine, I admit it...I was in complete shambles as soon as the clock hit 6 and no image of a messy haired Adonis was sighted anywhere near. I screamed, I cried, I committed suicide... there, happy? Ok, maybe it wasn't that bad, but it was hell for anyone who was around me at that time.

See, this really wasn't my idea of an ideal Christmas. Usually, Quatre and Trowa would disappear during the middle, say when we're all enjoying our presents, and would be found the next morning drunk and tied together with the ribbons used for decorating presents. Unfortunately, that's traditionally the only thing that is on them and usually fails to strategically cover their unmentionables. We always have to draw straws to pick the victim who finds the source of the snores. But when this happens, at least I have Wufei, Hilde, and Relena to support my sanity and the party's livelihood. Well, as we all know, that changed this year. I haven't seen Wufei for around two minutes and Relena has long disappeared. Wufei's little train that previously couldn't obviously discovered his dormant skills with Relena's tracks this year.... so to speak.

I don't even want to think about the noises I'm hearing behind that tree right now.

"Why would you work on Christmas Eve?" A curious Hilde asked as Heero winced and shifted his attention shiftily when various uncensored body parts were spotted sporadically between the branches of our artistically decorated tree.

"Don't mind them; they're um..enjoying their Christmas together. Let's move to the other side of the room. Please." She said with slight desperation in her plea. I can tell this is getting to her too, being also a singleton. Yes, Bridget Jones is our goddess and we worship the ground that she walks on.

"Well, I'm usually the only one willing to work during Christmas while the others are enjoying their day off. And many chefs would like this opportunity to display their Christmas spreads."

"Ah, that's a shame, because if you came earlier, you would actually see a party." The sarcasm dripping in my voice, I stared venomously at the back closet where giggles were heard.

"I would say that this is enough of a party for me.." Dry humor embellished Heero's words as he followed my train of thought, obviously catching that loud groan from the closet also. The phone rang in perfect concord at that moment and thankfully hid some of the four letter words I should never have heard from sweet Quatre's mouth, especially directed to Trowa in that matter. I'm praying that "big boy" referred to Trowa's height.. and had absolutely no references to where the sun doesn't shine.

"Don't worry, I'll get it." Said an eager Hilde, probably loving the fact that her family will provide some sort of a normal gathering for her after this fiasco. You think if I begged and offered a raise, she'd let me go with her?

Probably not...

"Oh yes Trowa, bend!"

Meeting Heero's amused gaze, I made a cutting gesture across my neck and pointed to behind the tree, earning a smirk from him and a concurring nod.

"And here I thought you were the dominating one of the two, Trowa!" I screamed cheerfully, stopping all rustles behind the needles for a second.

"Or can big boy not handle it?" Compared to my sassy tone, Heero's words were less playful, filled with more sarcasm and subtle humor. A shocked and seemingly scandalized gasp was heard that was noticeably Quatre. Needless to say, that earned both of us a chuckle.

"Heero..."

A deadly and cold voice that was distinctly but rarely Hilde stopped us in the middle of our merry making. It would have scared the crap out of me if not for the fact that it was directed to Heero.

"What?" Seeming defensive to whatever accusation Hilde was about to make on his part, Heero looked guardedly towards the girl standing tall at a mere 5 foot with her hands on her sides, looking exactly like a disappointed mother.

"Remember Tommy?" The grimace from both of us automatically answered her question.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure but due to some story that and I quote, "a big bad man" told him, Tommy is afraid of Santa, the only name that can supposedly stop his trouble making for more than a few minutes. Do you know how unhappy his parents are that he wouldn't go near the tree and refuses to come out of his room?"

Wow, I didn't think Heero's threat was that bad. Of course, I never did ask him specifically what he said. The same thing evidently occurred to Hilde also as she glanced warily at said man.

"What exactly did you tell him about Santa? All I heard was something about reality shows and such through the phone. The poor woman was hysterical."

We were both a little put off by the uncharacteristically wicked smirk that slowly found its way to Heero's face, meanwhile creating uproar in my lower hemisphere. An involuntary whimper escaped my lips... it was an unquestionably naughty smile..

"Not exactly..."

"What then?" The annoyance that crept into Hilde's voice at his hesitation was created more due to curious irritation than any actual consideration for Tommy. We'd strangle the kid if we could.

"I just told him that Santa had a spare job on the other 364 days which he's not busy." If likely, his smirk got even wider and sinister. That was when all the groaning behind closet doors and trees failed to hide my own whimpers and my effort to slowly conceal myself behind a fern of an ideal height.

"Heero, if you don't finish, I am going to grab you and kick you into next week." Both Hilde and I were seriously annoyed but for different reasons which I'm thankful no one besides for me, myself and I know.. and maybe the fern.

"Fine! I told Tommy that he also dresses in drag on his free days and was a stand in double for Anna Nicole."

Oh my dear God and my fellow demented souls.. that was cruel.

I've found my soul mate at last...

"You didn't!" A panic-stricken Hilde glanced at Heero, not being as appreciative of the story as I was. Under our amused glances, her expression turned from shock, to disbelief and finally, to lethal. That gaze has got to be the equivalent of the most successful cold shower I've ever been forced to have.

"Well then, you're going to deal with the consequences." Her voice left no room for debate or protests. I looked towards Heero in pity and knew without a doubt that I would not like to be in his shoes at the moment. A determined Hilde at times is worse than a frenzied Relena.

"And Duo, since you seemed so admiring of his actions, you're going to help him."

I gulped and mentally wrote my last will and testament while it became Heero's turn to look at me with compassion. Glancing at the mutual fear that was evident in both our eyes, we instinctively took our iced drinks and in quick strides, poured them behind the tree without looking at things that were definitely not taught in the bible.

It at least stopped the clapping and whistling for a while.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the way to Tommy's house, Hilde instructed us to gather some supplies and along with each stop, I can almost literally hear both Heero's heart and mine sink deeper into our stomachs. You might joke about how two grown man is afraid of a little girl, but then I would invite you into this car and take a look at the torture devices that our sadistic little tyrant has collected.

A Santa costume, several oversized pillows, a large plain pillow bag, and the cream to top this all off, white wigs and beard. Let the wheels turn, baby and see what your genius minds can conjure up.

No...it's not that we're going to a holiday strip club or a fancy costume party. Trust me, I've asked.

The car finally rested at a two story house painted in sunny yellow and surrounded by a perfect lawn. I wondered if anyone would be surprised if within an hour, a naked guy runs out while stripping himself of his jolly old red suit. No matter, if we're reduced to that, then it will probably be the best action that these mundane neighbors have seen in years.

And if it's Heero, then guess who will be attempting to tackle him?

But enough with the joking and let's consider the seriousness here. You think that these neighbors would be considerate enough to lend a hiding place for two nice men? Preferably for the next few years?

"Ok, now between you two, decide who will get to wear the pants in the relationship."

No pun intended? Sure..

Heero looked at me and I stared at him, neither willing to surrender the hard earned dignity painstakingly gathered after the embarrassment that is high school crushes and college parties that regained somberness in another room, another dormitory, another college that was in another state.

Ok, maybe it's just because I don't want to look fat, but hey, dignity comes second.

"You do it." Heero said firmly, more of a statement than an actual request. Nothing can get me to do this unless it revolves stripping, a bar, and Heero as the only audience.

"No."

"Yes."

"It's your fault"

"I did it to help you."

"...."

"You."

"...."

"See, you put this leg in this hole here, and the other leg in the remaining hole."

"Not funny."

"I agree, you might confuse the pant legs with the sleeve, I'll have to be clearer."

"..."

"You owe me for the Christmas tree incident."

"..."

"And for the entire Wufei and Relena matchmaking episode."

"Do you always talk this much when you're desperate not to do something?"

"Mostly, want to find out?"

"I'm waiting to see how long it would take before the sexual favors start to pour in."

"Pretty damn close."

"Anything involving a football stadium and literal public displays of affection?"

"We don't have that long."

"True, survival is thin at its best after this." (1)

"So, you'll do it?"

"No."

"..."

"Braid boy here..can't hide that?"

"Scissors?"

"Don't sound so hopeful."

"Damn."

"Yep, you're pretty much screwed."

"Smug bastard."

"Only the only way to be a bastard."

"You're evil."

"No, evil is an unconscious power. I do this to you intentionally. That makes me cunning."

"..."

"How long do you think Hilde will buy this argument before we have to step out there?"

"Don't know, do try to continue please."

"Why? You wear the red pants in the relationship, don't depend on me."

"... Britney Spears lover."

"Gasp! How dare you! That was below the belt and any form of dignity."

"Sorry."

"That isn't enough. Hilde! Heero's ready to play Santa now!"

"Hate you."

"Love you too."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My kingdom for a camera and anything that's better for a camcorder! Heero with a pot belly stomach and silver hair is to die for! The day that I think Santa is attractive is the day I turn celibate but I might just have to rethink that after helping Santa baby here change into his getup. Santa works out.. wow.

"For the record, I hate you all and I was forced into this so in case anyone asks..." At the smug smiles on our faces, he sighed in defeat and mumbled disjointed sentences about closing down restaurants and dancing on our graves. I really couldn't tell, being too busy laughing.

"Ok, so where do I go now?" He looked at Hilde, looking perfect in the role of poster boy for misery.

"Well, it's now a quarter to midnight, so we have around 15 minutes to prepare for when Tommy will be awaken."

"What more do we have to do?" I asked pointedly at Hilde, ignoring the glares of Heero when I said "we"

"Well, we'll have to try and get Heero into the chimney, at least half way there so he doesn't have to show his face that much. Even with the beard and wig, he's still too easily recognizable with those eyes."

"WHAT?"

If anyone can hear me up there, I forgive you for all the malicious jokes you've played on me in the past, because this is just priceless..

"Why can't we just dim the lights or something?" The closest thing I've seen to panic appeared on Heero's face, and I would really love to feel sorry for him but that's on my to-do list after laughing hysterically and getting brutally murdered by a blue-eyed St. Nick.

"Because Tommy's afraid of the dark."

"Fuck."

"Too late now, Heero, you should have offered when we were in the car."

Is it so wrong to enjoy this so much?

Ouch! Apparently it is.

"Ok, get in! there should be enough room for you to squeeze in." With a combination of persuasive words and forcefully shoving, Heero unwillingly crawled into the old fashioned fireplace with only his lower body displayed through the available space.

"How's it in there?" As funny as this situation is to me, I still couldn't help but be worried for the poor guy, doomed because he doesn't have a braid to call his own. The worry was hinted at in my voice, making it one of the reasons why he can't scream at me later or so I would like to hope.

"Do they ever clean this place?" A muffled and irate voice was heard followed by a great sneeze and several inappropriate words that makes me glad of our first amendment rights and that we still have five minutes before waking up anyone in the house.

"Not since they moved in a decade ago." Said a cheerful Hilde and at my disbelieving glare, she giggled.

"Why do you even need him? Why couldn't you have just gotten two wooden sticks and pretended it to be the legs? You really can't see the actual Santa."

"We need a talking Santa."

"Why?" Despite the dust storm and filth that must be in that place, Heero still asked the question that was circling above our heads. Curiosity might not kill the cat, but it will certainly earn a few sneezes and interesting threats.

"Because...we need the ACTUAL Santa to reassure Tommy that he's got NOTHING to do with ANNA NICOLE..." Stressing each word that she believed relevant, I cringed at the emphasis she placed into her answer and I'm sure Heero did too in his own little compacted space.

"Hush! Here he comes!" Footsteps on the stairs accompanied by several whines of "I don't want to" and "she's scary mommy!" alerted us of our stations as we rushed towards the kitchen, making sure to leave a splinter of light shining through from the living room. It was just to make sure that everything's going according to plan but honestly, the majority of our reasoning was just for entertainment purposes only.

And to remember this for the rest of our lives or use to tease Heero endlessly. Whichever comes first..

"Ho Ho Ho! You caught me." Hilde and I were practically squeezing each other to make sure that neither one of us explodes in uncontrollable mirth. He just sounded so deadpan and miserable that it was almost endearing! I swear, if I didn't know that that was Heero, I would have thought that old St. Nick has given up on kids and was dealing with a major hangover!

"Santa?" Though the view we were provided through the barely opened door was small, the hesitant voice can only belong to Tommy with childish fear prevailing above the surprise in his words.

"Yes....." As if a second thought, a very long second thought, he continued in that blank tone. "Are you happy to see me?"

Meanwhile, Hilde and I were cradled in each other's arms while slowly sliding down along the wall towards the ground, shaking in silent laughter. Such a attitude saying these words were awkward to say the least and it only created this irresistible urge for me to go in and hug the living daylights out of the poor suffering guy who obviously has no idea what to do.

"Mommy... I'm scared." Tommy's voice was followed by various murmured comforts that we couldn't perceive from such a distance away, but what Heero said came loud and clear.

"Well, are you scared because a..." he coughed at this point and I can almost hear the amusement, or is it embarrassment in his voice? "big bad man told you I was um.." Looking for the right words without actually frightening the child with the scary name, he unfortunately came up short.

"...a big bad woman in my spare time?"

This oh so eloquent speech was followed by several loud sneezes which I'm sure, shook the entire fireplace in a dust storm. However, the mental picture of Heero's adorable performance with two visible red legs and the rest of him hidden, accompanied by such a deadpan voice saying all these uncharacteristic things is just too cute for words! A snicker escaped my lips and quickly, Hilde's hand came to muffle my mouth but she too was having a hard time controlling her own amusement.

"Yes.. He was a very terrible and mean man." Tommy said, with a resolute and accusing tone, implying in his words that Santa shouldn't visit the big, bad Heero this year. The discomfited coughing that came from the chimney only further fueled our fun in the sanctuary of the kitchen.

"Yes, he was... and anyhow, it isn't true so you can go to sleep now!" Finally some panic was sensed in the rushed words and I was getting a feeling that he was truly going to suffocate either from the dust, or the self-realization of what he was truly doing at that moment has finally hit him on the head.

"Go..now!" The urgency in his voice finally tipped the adults that it was time to go quickly before something that was very painful descend upon them. With lots of pushing and tearful goodbyes from a dedicated Tommy and a curt grunt from his idol, they parted ways finally.

...and all hell broke out.

"Oh my god!" Equally tearful, we stumbled out of the kitchen supporting each other and the laughter that has been bubbling inside us for the past few minutes erupted with a vengeance. Neither of us realized the unfitting quietness that was in the direction of the fireplace and to tell the truth, nor cared because it was just too rich a moment to give up.

After the commotion was calmed, Heero's voice finally disrupted our reverie and called us back into the real world where he was still in the fireplace and we were laying on the ground, weak from the aftereffects of the laughter. All in all, not a very imposing scene.

"I'm doomed. Today was destined to be the day from hell." He said in such a grave and solemn voice that we couldn't help but chuckle again. Picturing the displeasure in his face for not being taken seriously, I decided to humor him. At least, after enduring tonight, he deserved that little respect.

"It's Christmas Eve, you're with friends, the night is still young considering that we're us, and the rest of the night is dedicated to you for being such a good sport. You've made one little boy very happy for the rest of his childhood, and when we go back, we're going to make you a very happy boy with tons of food, so what about this day is fated to end in "the day from hell" now that the worse is over?" I asked, my amusement betraying the supposed sincerity of my words.

"Really...the rest of the night is devoted to me?" With his head in the chimney, I can only sense the dryness in his tone.

"Yes, it is."

"Well then, get ready because I'm going to make sure that you follow through on your words."

"Be happy to. What do you want us to do?" Hilde, after finally gathering enough energy to prop herself up on her elbows, asked while she wiped a stray tear from her eyes.

"Well, first of all, you can use this night to get me out of here." If possible, the wryness in his voice became more evident.

"Well, get out, get cleaned and let's get out of here!"

"No, I mean get me out of here...literally."

This was when we finally sensed in our clouded brains that something was amiss

"Meaning?"

"I'm stuck.."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Somewhere in another room upstairs:

"Mommy, why is Santa still downstairs and what do the words he's screaming mean?"

"Go to sleep Tommy, it's only a dream."



1. I got this line from Shella...thanks, I thought that was perfect! I'll use the other quote you suggested another time. ^_^

this was the last chapter tho there is a poll thing here